First, let me apologize to Lykaon. I thought I got the idea from you. Turns out it was from friend Jeff's friend Nat. What can I say: it was a post about a movie on a page with a black background, I should have done my research. Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way...
Let's talk about needless remakes. You know the ones I'm talking about. Movies that got done again for no real reason. Nothing added or changed really. Just "updated" I'm not talking about movies like Guess Who. I heard it was bad, but it was not a remake. It may have started life as a remake script, but Guess Who and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner aren't even the same genre. They're barely the same language.
Nat was ranting about the upcoming remake to The Big Chill that has been put into development you can read it (his rant), I won't try to summarise here. But I will say that I would pay good money to see French Stewart and David Schwimmer remake Friday.
So here we go, a list, in no order at all, of movies that I think add nothing at all to the originals. Not a single thing worth salvaging. Please disagree or add your own. Maybe later we can talk about remakes that surpass the original, but lets stay focused people. Movies that did not need to get made:
- Poseidon. I really don't understand. The original had Ernest Borgnine and Gene Hackman. Why wouldn't you watch that again? Need more? How about Red Buttons, Roddy Mcdowall and Shelley Winters. Honestly, like it or not ( and I do), it certainly did not need to be remade.
- Bad New Bears. No really, they remade it. I didn't know either. Billy Bob Thorton was in it. And Greg Kinnear. No I don't know why Walter Matthau hasn't risen from the grave to kill them yet either.
- A Lindsey two-fer here. Parent Trap and Freaky Friday. Lindsey, I may have seen your hoo-haa but you should not be trying to step to Haley Mills and Jodie freakin' Foster
- The Grudge. You sparked horrible sequels and did not deliver on your tease for naked Buffy. I could not hate you more if I tried.
- The Out of Towners. The original is still regarded as a classic. The remake had Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, Mark McKinney and John Cleese. And might be the worst regarded film any of them have made.
- Sabrina. I liked this movie the first time I saw it. I admit it. Then I saw the original. Why did they try to top that! Stupid Greg Kinnear! Stop making remakes! Make original films!
Enough already. Time for you to chime in. Agree? Disagree? did I miss any obvious ones? Remember, hold off on remakes that surpass the original. We'll deal with those in good time...
7 comments:
I was annoyed when I saw the trailer for 'Disturbia'. Michelle and I kind of looked at each other and said "We've already seen Rear Window!"
Also, I think you're going to break little Joshy's heart when he learns this post isn't about man-crushes.
It's true. I thought you were gonna post your man-crushes and I was all excited.
You *did* say it was related to John Travolta afterall. What's a guy to think?
I love this topic. RIGHT up my alley because this totally annoys me, too. In fact, I'm annoyed I didn't think of it first. But two words: two kids.
'Down to Earth' (2001) stupid re-make of 'Heaven Can Wait' (1978), which I liked but which is also a re-make of an older b&w movie I can't remember the name of...anyone? I've only seen part of that one. But 'Down to Earth' didn't need to be made. I'm not a big Chris Rock fan.
'Cruel Intentions' (1999) a younger wanna-be version of 'Dangerous Liasons'(1988) which I liked, but again which is also a re-make of a French film (1959) which I haven't seen. But I guess audiences never get tired of this kind of plot.
Speaking of lamely Americanizing good foreign films,
'City of Angels' (1998) kind of missed the mark doing the story of German 'Wings of Desire' (1987).
Also 'Shall We Dance' (2004) starring Richard Gere and JLo, while surprising better than I expected (and I did buy the soundtrack!) still didn't capture the absolute charm of the original Japanese 'Shall We Dansu' (1996).
I'm SURE to come up with more, just give me time. I saw a commercial the other day for a theater re-release of 'Blade Runner'. That's what I'm talking about. When the original is aweseome, or even good, just re-release it - MAKE money on the already-existing awesomeness instead of wasting money remaking it poorly. Oh, I'm on a roll!
psycho. definitely.
when a stranger calls. the original was a classic thriller, the new version was not called for.
the parent trap is a good call, for sure.
the italian job. totally the poor man's ocean's 11.
that's all i can think of right now
Disturbia, yow... I looked up the trailer and.. yow. Who greenlights this?
Psycho, another great one. They even billed it as a shot for shot remake. Honestly who has the purse strings out there?
City of Angels, I totally agree. Plus it gave us yet another Goo Goo Dolls song that no one really likes, they just heard it so often on the radio they thought they did.
I never thought I liked it.
Or I thought I never liked it.
One of those.
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